FIRST LOVE

Lazing in this old frame tent
on a sultry April noon,
drifting mentally, watching
faded canvas the colour of pale sun
rippling gently in a spring breeze,
shaping visions, absurdly out of time,
evoking bitter-sweet memories
of days long-gone.


In a deep Welsh valley ages ago,
midnight thunder crashing overhead,
lightening strobe-like
casting stark, darting shadows
of lovers writhing
onto yellow fabric walls.
An intense moment of rapture
amid tedium of endless exams.

'Quick!' You called me to the door.
There, I saw a glowing ball
of electricity bounce across the field.
Then the sky burst open
and a flaming fork
sliced in two a mighty oak.
I wept, a decision finalised.
It seemed to me an omen.

You held me then
so close I felt your heart
still pounding from our love
(or had you read my thoughts)?
Misunderstanding, you whispered
'It's OK, I'll love you all my life!'
Squirming with guilt, I pulled away.
Two weeks later I had gone.

I suppose I should've left a note,
but how could I admit
to casting aside my first real love
on an egocentric whim?
A heavenly face and seductive words
had filled a naive head
with erotic needs and fantasies
I simply had to fulfil.

Soon his long-suffering wife
made her presence felt.
With cheekbone bruised and ego flat
I crawled back home to you.
But, alas, I found you'd gone away,
so I sat on the step and cried.
Then brief encounters became my life
for none compared to you.


Now many long years have passed
since last I saw your face.
Time has stolen our tender love
and faded youthful dreams.
Like an ancient photo in monochrome,
they've turned a ghostly grey;
and hormonal rush of first love
is lost to me today.

Yet, lying here now in this old tent,
I can almost, nearly touch
your time-honoured phantom rising
from the shadows, a promise fulfilled.
Adrenaline's pumping, senses acute,
you're so near I can feel your breath;
and long flowing curls caress my face
as you bend to kiss me again.

A car horn blasts, and you've disappeared
as abruptly as you came.
Watery cloud engulfs the sun
and I suddenly feel alone.
An urge to move on drives me inside
where, armed with coffee cup,
I snuggle under the duvet
to watch a movie I love.