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Sunday 22 January 2012

DELIRIUM

Influenza's taking hold now
with feverish fingers of burning ice
that penetrate a weakened brain.
Neural pathways open out
into vast tunnels, allowing
bizarre notions to stream in
from beyond the outer limits
of ordinary reality.

Bedroom window
frames hostile steel-grey
winter sky
that wants to pull me through
and suck me up
into it's watery vastness.
It's denser greys
take on monstrous shapes
of ether-demons, who
silently call my name.
I'm beginning to levitate
out of bed
towards them.
Shutting eyes tightly.
The mental link shatters.
I'm back in bed
with a shocking jolt.

Pulling the duvet closer
around my shivering body, and
clenching teeth to stop them chattering.
But it's no use.
There is a sickening sensation
of falling through the bed
and into the Underworld,
where the Ancestors beckon me
to join them.
Suddenly I'm ultra light,
like a thread of gossamer
carried away on a spring breeze.
I've become transparent, formless.
But still so cold.
How did I come to be lost
in this Siberian blizzard anyway?

TV screen darts back and forth
across blurred vision, it's
unintelligible voices
teasing consciousness
to the point of exasperation.
I reach out to steady
it's erratic motion.
But it's much further away than it appears.
Distance has become fluid,
a rough storm-tossed sea.
I'm clinging to a broken sail mast,
as fifty-foot waves engulf
my tiny sailing yacht.
Struggling helplessly,
I'm pulled down
into the vortex
of a treacherous whirlpool, until
I'm fighting for breath
in a freezing, saturated - bed?

Panic takes over.
Nothing makes sense anymore.
Erratic, pounding heartbeat
translates into train wheels,
clacking out of sync
over broken tracks.
This train's racing out of control,
heading straight for a precipice
of the Grand Canyon.
There's nothing I can do.
I'm over the edge.
Falling.
Falling,
ever faster
into russet oblivion.......



18 comments:

  1. Wow, i have felt that way before when i have had the flu. It does make you feel as if you are floating away to the nether-worlds. I love how you have captured that feeling with your words.

    Blessings and Love, V.

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  2. Vivienne,
    Thank you so much!
    I simply had to write about this experience.
    It felt so REAL.
    I hate the flu. Don't we all :(

    Blessings & Hugs Y

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    Replies
    1. This is awsome writing, what a journey you have taken me on! Simply fantastic but I do hope you are feeling better? :D

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    2. Hi Rose,
      Thank you so much. I am fully recovered now thank goodness. I wrote it in note form when I had the flu last month. It was a truly surreal experience! :)

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  3. The first stanza got me hooked then the others took me on a bumpy ride through delirium and into oblivion, well done :-).

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    Replies
    1. Thank you Windsmoke. I attempted to find something creative in an awful experience!
      So glad you liked it :)

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  4. That last line I'd say was worth the experience. It's an: "I wish I had written that".

    Good capture.

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    Replies
    1. Hi Gnome,
      You would have chuckled had you seen me at the time!
      I kept jumping up to jot down each peculiar notion as I experienced it. I couldn't even see straight, so had to decipher my scribble as I rewrote it later. Some of it I couldn't even remember!!
      Quite an adventure :)

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  5. This could so easily have become over-blown, but you have melded the various deliriums and fantasies into a coherent and believable sequence. Art from chaos, no less. Excellently well done. (I don't know how far back in time this was, but I so hop you are fully recovered.)

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    Replies
    1. Hi Dave,
      And many many thanks.
      You are such a professional writer, so a favourable comment from you means a great deal to me.
      This was early December. I am almost fully recovered now thank you, apart from a persistant cough. (At the time I wondered if I would survive it though!!)

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  6. a brilliant write ... so well done.

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    Replies
    1. Hi Celestial Dreamz,
      Lovely to hear from you.
      Thank you very, very much :)

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  7. Hi Ygraine..always so potent in translation and striking vibrancy to your words..there is always a sense of movement..a weaving in and out feeling when I read your poems! The feelings you describe also for me..translate in the sense of anxiety/ panic attacks ..so this felt very powerful to me!
    Bright blessings to a wizardess of words and poetic soul!! I admire your work so very much!
    victoria

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    Replies
    1. Hi Victoria,
      I am honestly speechless!
      I have always thought of my writing as very mediocre, so your words truly amaze me.
      I am deeply honoured.
      Thank you so very much.

      Blessings & Hugs Y

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  8. racy and out of control. sometimes we cross the point of no return, yes we do. and we must accept how we end up. this was unnerving.

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    Replies
    1. Hi Ed,
      I was grateful to survive that fever. At the time I had begun to wonder if I would!
      It was really really scary!!

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  9. Greetings Ygraine, I love ur poem, the imagery and intensity of the moment are captured so effortlessly. It's like a journey through a viral attack on the senses. U know, as I was reading into this I couldn't help but experience the metaphor in an analogy of disaffected youth. Hope u don't mind my using this analogy.
    Cheers,
    WJJ

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    Replies
    1. Hi William,
      And welcome!
      I don't mind your using that analogy at all, in fact I find it rather complimentary.
      I am so happy you liked the poem, and that it made some sort of sense - it certainly made very little to me at the time I experienced it!
      I did help to write it down though.

      Great to hear from you :)

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