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Saturday 23 June 2012

THE SACRIFICE

Painting by Ygraine Barrow 1995


San Marino Grand Prix
Imola
1st May, 1994

In team garage he puts on his helmet,
then pulls gloves on inside out - an
obsessive superstition of his.
Adrenaline begins pumping.

Easing himself into his car.
Starting the engine.
Now lapping the circuit
to take his position
at the front of the grid.

Formation lap commences.
Cars zig-zagging
to warm up tyres.
Engines revving.

Lining up for the real thing now.
They're all in position.
Tension becoming unbearable.
He can practically hear
more than twenty other hearts
pounding in unison
with his own.

This waiting is tantamount
to torture.
Mind focused ruthlessly.
Every muscle flexed
to the point of pain,
in preparation for insane dash
to stay in pole position.

Red lights flick on.
A cheer from the grandstands.
There's an uncontrollable fluttering
in his solar plexus.

He feels strange today:
sick, light-headed;
as if about to black out.
The vision of first place trophy
in his mind's eye
is inexplicably replaced
by brilliant white light:
The Face of God.
And just for an instant,
he's hovering high above;
looking down on himself
sitting motionless in his car.
There's a voice inside his head, saying,
'You are destined for greater things.'
Incomprehensible becomes crystal clear.
He's profoundly moved,
close to tears;
thinks of his family.

Green lights replace red.
His foot to the floor.
Ear-splitting screech
of engines pushed to the limit, then
BANG! Two cars collide.

He's uneasy.
Is reminded of yesterday's
death crash during qualifying
that he'd been trying so hard
to avoid dwelling on.
Anger grips him.
Why would no one listen
to his demands for change
in circuit safety regulations?
Do they want another death?

Pace car brought in.
Four frustratingly slow laps
that kill gear boxes and brakes.
He feels keyed up, irritated,
anxious to get on with the race.
'Why are such amateurs
allowed anywhere near a car? he demands
out loud in exasperation,
drumming his fingers
on the steering wheel.

Pace car veers off.
He tears away,
defending his position
with characteristic aggression.
He feels fated today:
that whatever happens,
he cannot possibly lose.

A few laps on.
Approaching the Tamburello bend,
he turns steering wheel to the left.
But a pair of ethereal hands
wrench it to the right, driving his car
head-on into the wall.
A blinding flash.
His girlfriends face.
Half-heard screams from the crowd.
SILENCE.


But this is not the end.
I'm sure I glimpsed him
a few weeks ago.
He was standing in the road
just ahead of a bend
in the race circuit at Monaco.
A few seconds later
a car crashed,
after swerving at the last minute
as if to avoid him.
If it hadn't veered off,
there would undoubtedly
have been a tragedy.
That driver must have believed
he had a Guardian Angel that day...

Ayrton Senna was Formula 1's
last fatality to date.
Now, I think I know why.






12 comments:

  1. Any fatality on the race track is sad for everybody :-).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Windsmoke,
      Yes, I certainly agree with that.
      I am a huge fan of F1, but every time there is the slightest collision I am so nervous.
      I would never make a race driver!!

      Delete
  2. Superbly written. Maybe evry race driver should read this...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for reading this Dave.
      Perhaps, or maybe they shouldn't!
      I only hope and pray there are never any more fatalities on the track.

      Delete
  3. Very interesting and your painting is a good capture of his likeness.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, too, for reading this Gnome. I really appreciate it.
      I painted the portrait for my husband.
      He was, and still is, a huge fan of Ayrton Senna (hence our son being named Ayrton!!) and was devastated when he died.
      It still hangs in our hall :)

      Delete
  4. very good ... very interesting ... yeah all race driver should read this ...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Celestial Dreamz,
      Lovely to hear from you again.
      I am so glad you found this interesting.
      As I said earlier though, I'm not really sure if I'd want any race drivers to read this. Could be quite off-putting! :)

      Delete
  5. This is so intriguing Ygraine - brilliantly written and the art is superb. You are so talented :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Rose,
      you say the nicest things
      and I feel so encouraged by them.
      Thank you so, so much :)

      Delete
  6. Ygraine, while reading your words I felt as if I were there watching that race, wonderfully written! A touching homage to
    Senna. Congrats for the painting too: a beautiful portrait of the world's finest driver.
    "Senna could take an 1,100-pound racing car and transform it into a living, breathing thing, a throbbing dance partner in his dangerous pas de deux."
    Why didn't the concrete wall, in deference to this great man, move aside to let him through...?

    My favourite lines:

    The vision of first place trophy
    in his mind's eye
    is inexplicably replaced
    by brilliant white light:
    The Face of God.

    ..............
    a pair of ethereal hands
    wrench it to the right, driving his car
    head-on into the wall.
    A blinding flash.
    His girlfriends face.
    Half-heard screams from the crowd.
    SILENCE.


    I am sure you glimpsed him, that Guardian Angel, that day.
    :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Thank you so much, Dulcina.
    I truly appreciate your kind words.
    Yes. I think maybe that wall should have stood aside that day for Ayrton Senna - in fact, for any driver about to crash.
    But, then, I suppose it is impossible to cheat fate, isn't it?

    It makes me so happy to know that you enjoyed reading this post :)

    ReplyDelete

Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment on my posts.
I really appreciate hearing your opinions...:)