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Friday 29 June 2012

TRINITY

I cannot speak to you today.
No words of mine
can undo wounds inflicted
by the verbal sword of anger.
Memory will bear the scars forever.
Karmic debt is in the red.

I'm not much to write home about,
I know that.
Of course you'll find others more attractive,
more accomplished; much
more interesting.
I should learn to accept my mediocrity,
not hone it into a weapon
of us annihilation.
As if that could possibly
endear me to you more!

But I am trinity.
And yesterday, Ego declared war
on Divinity inside me.
Ego had glimpsed Divinity
through a chink in my psyche,
then found fragments of It's perfection
reflected in other women.
And it craved the admiration
such brilliance attracts,
mistaking that for love.
So it demanded it's own pedestal:
to be worshipped like them, as a
thing of beauty and desire - sought
self-worth in the opinions
of someone else.
It truly believed Divinity
to be something out there
that could be conquered and usurped.
But Divinity just smiled,
because It knew better.

I just caught sight of myself
in the mirror.
Ego's haggard, post-conflict face
is looking out at me.
But the eyes aren't quite right.
They no longer seem to fit the face;
have become beautiful,
entrancing almost.
I am inexorably drawn
into their bottomless emerald depths,
where I find Divinity nestling
at the core of my Being.
And trinity's warring factions
are finally fused into perfect unity.

I know now that I am OK
exactly as I am.
So are you.
So is everyone else.
And I can't apologise enough
for who I was
before today.

12 comments:

  1. Through green eyed envy you've found your emerald.

    Lest you not forget, regret not.
    Forgiveness is yours.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I do hope forgiveness is mine - he hasn't quite made that clear yet!
    Oh such human failings I have. Hehe.

    Thank you Gnome. Very much appreciated :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Wow..totally magnificent writing..this is one of my favorites now..potent and beautiful and soul-stirring on so many levels!
    Wowness...
    Wishing you a sparkling day..
    Victoria

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Victoria - you have made me so happy!
      This piece grew out of simply asking myself 'Why did I behave so selfishly?'
      That it has become one of your favourites is such a complement.
      Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

      Blessings Y

      Delete
  4. Like it. The pearl of great price was there all the time, as it always is.
    Cleverly rendered, the language perfect for its purpose.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It always brings grief when we forget what lies at the core of ourselves and others, doesn't it?
      I just sometimes appear to be a slow learner!

      I am so very happy that you liked this, Dave.
      To hear that from so talented a writer is a complement indeed :)

      Delete
  5. While it is sad that anyone could feel so wretched inside oneself, I found your conclusion in self belief very uplifting.
    All your poems are well thought out with a message for the reader. This one must certainly rank up there with the best.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Austin, you are so kind. Thank you so much.
    I suppose the wretchedness is really a learning curve - a kick up the backside to to make us change when we need to.
    If only the resulting self-belief could be permanent...only mine never seems to be:/

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  7. We all have that selfishness inbred - we need it it is part of the being it has been specially installed for self preservation,which is a good thing! sometimes we are called selfish by those who demand more from us than we can give (now isn't that selfish of them?)'I am not much to write home about' seems someone has been putting you down for their own selfish reasons. You are a beautiful person don't let anyone make you believe otherwise. A wonderful poem perfectly written Ygraine :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. How can I ever thank you enough, Rose?
    You always help me to see things with different eyes. Perhaps I am a little over defensive at times when I feel vulnerable, because I'm trying to protect myself from a repeat of past negative experiences.
    When I feel really happy, there is always this irksome little fear lurking just beneath the surface that it will be taken away from me!
    Maybe there will be a cure for this unfortunate affliction one day...:)

    ReplyDelete
  9. car loans melbourne

    This felt like what I'm feeling right now. It's time to move on and be happy. Leave the past and make a new beginning. Thanks so much for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I knew I couldn't be alone in feeling this way.
      Thank you so much for your honesty. It helps a lot to know we're not alone in our sufferings, doesn't it?
      Hopefully, we'll both find new beginnings :)

      Delete

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