Sunday, 8 November 2015


In your eyes there is an emptiness, an absence
of years, of time to fulfil
all those expectations: a beloved eldest son
upon whom all family ambitions rested, confined now to a fading likeness
that hangs between trees in the garden of Castle Drogo.

Oh that beautiful face, cursed with such
grim aura of profound tragedy.
The pointlessness of it. I look at you
and sense no future, just a dismal premonition of things to come.
And I can bear to look no longer

in case I experience through you too vividly
that fateful day in Ypres, nineteen-seventeen, when
all around you the skulls rose up in blood-soaked mud
of blasted trenches...and that ghastly hush that followed
with the sudden horrific realisation

that your smile had expanded to encompass
Creation's endless entirety,
and you'd lost yourself somewhere in agony
between the brilliance of the poppies and explosive shell-fire.
And how the young Major wept inwardly then for his wife;

for the offspring he would never sire;
for his parents' and siblings' grief;
for the homeland he would never again see...
and for those who were left to gather up the pieces
and lay them to rest in Vlamertinghe New Military Cemetery...

In Memoriam,  Adrian Drewe.   1891 - 1917

Just a flying visit, send you my heart-felt thanks for all your kind messages of support. I can't begin to express how much they mean to me at a time like this. I will reply to each one as soon as I possibly can.
There have been many scares: the op was over, then he had a massive arterial bleed so had to be rushed back to theatre and opened up again.
He just began to come round from the anaesthetic, then his kidneys began to fail. They managed to rectify that, only for his breathing to deteriorate.
At the moment he is stable though, in intensive care.
So we are hoping and praying...

I am missing you all so much. As soon as I can I will visit you all, I promise.

The above post was written a month ago, for Remembrance Day.
I hope you like it...

And thank you again for all your support. You have all been so kind that it brings tears to my eyes.
Bless you all...


  1. I feel your anxiety, dearest Ygraine. But, I also feel the hope and the love that is shared between you and your husband. Heart surgery takes a long recovery period. But as each hour passes it is a step closer to healing. Your hubby is young and strong and he loves you very much. These are among the strongest medicine there is. Never will I stop thinking of you both and sending all the love and healing I can while keeping positive thoughts about the outcome.

    All My Love and Hugs and Kisses
    to You and Hubby

    Sad, but beautiful post~

    1. Dear, Sweet Jan...what did I do to deserve such a precious friend as you?
      Whatever it was, I am so glad I did it. I can't tell you how much you are helping me to bear this. The separation is by far the worst bit. The sitting here at home alone, just waiting by the phone for news...then when it does ring, my heart almost leaps out of my chest.
      I just so, so wish I could be there at the hospital with him, but we could only afford the accommodation for either my son or my son is staying with him. He couldn't bear to stay at home.
      Yes, you are SO right...Love is the strongest medicine...and this experience has certainly dug deep into the depths of my heart...and released more love and compassion than I'd ever have believed I possessed. There has been a lot of time to reflect, and I know I will emerge from this a stronger and more caring person.

      Oh thank you again, dearest Jan...for being my beautiful friend...for being you. You are more precious than you will ever know.:)

      All my Love, Hugs & Kisses xoxoxoxo

  2. warm hands
    clasped to send our care
    calm waters

    __Our care to you both. _m

    1. Oh thank you, much.
      Those few precious words have expanded to totally engulf me in hope for the future.
      Oh gosh, Doug...thank you...thank you...:)

  3. The images and heart felt feelings of the times so vivid in your words. Hope present continues to improve.

    1. I wrote this a month ago, just after a visit to Drogo castle, in Devonshire.
      The moment I gazed at this portrait, it affected me so deeply...I felt utterly compelled to research this young boy's story...there was such an aura of tragedy around his beautiful face.
      His story turned out to be such a sad one though...I almost wished I had left well alone.
      Writing this reduced me to tears...:(
      Glad I did write it felt appropriate for Remembrance Day.

      Thank you so much for your support at this painful time, is so, so appreciated.:)

  4. Amazing.
    Dear Ygraine I send you all my love and prayers .A big hug !!

  5. Amazing.
    Dear Ygraine I send you all my love and prayers .A big hug !!

    1. Dear heart-felt thanks...your love and prayers are deeply appreciated...thank you so, so much my wonderful friend.:)

      Much Love & Hugs xoxoxo

  6. Oh that poem - wonderfully written.

    What a time he has had - and you. I pray all is okay ((((Ygraine))))

    1. Thank you, much.
      Austin is still in Intensive Care, he now has a heart and lung all we can do is wait...and hope...and pray.
      Such a difficult time...but I am finding a strength I never believed I had.

      So happy you liked the poem...that portrait affected me so deeply that I just had to write about it.

      Thank you much. :)

  7. Dear Yg, Dulcina and I offer up our prayers, bidding strength for the two of you. Your husband may be in intensive care but may your intensive love see him through.

    1. Oh gosh...TUG and most genuine heart-felt thanks.
      Your prayers are so, so appreciated...and yes, this painful experience has cut deeply into my heart...and released so much more love than I could ever have believed myself capable of feeling.
      One thing is for certain...I will never, ever take anyone for granted again...

      Oh thank you again, my dear friends...for everything.:)

  8. Lovely poem.

    I am very sorry to read that you are going through a very tough time. I hope and pray everything will end all right. May God give you the courage to face and overcome this very big trial in your life.

    1. So glad you enjoyed the poem, Joseph...
      and my sincerest, most heart-felt thanks for your warm wishes and kind words.
      It is friends like you who are helping me to stay strong...:)

  9. Ever so sorry to read about your ordeal but hopefully eh will come through. I'm sending both of you a huge hug.

    Beautiful poem.

    Greetings from London.

    1. You have no idea how much that means to us, CiL...thank much. :)
      And, just in case I can't be around, have a fabulous birthday on Monday!

      Warmest Wishes from Hampshire.:)

  10. Dearest Ygraine, I am sending you a big warm hug and much love. I am so sorry for what you are going through. I will keep you in my prayers, my cherished friend. Lovely poem, as always.

  11. Dearest Ygraine, I am sending you a big warm hug and much love. I am so sorry for what you are going through. I will keep you in my prayers, my cherished friend. Lovely poem, as always.

    1. My dearest, dearest friend...that hug is so will probably never know just how much. The isolation and loneliness has been awful, being here at home, knowing what he has been going through up there in London. But at least my son has been there with him through it all. I am so proud of him.
      At present, he is being treated for a lung and heart infection...makes me wonder how a human body can withstand so many assaults. He is certainly a stronger person than I will ever be...and (hopefully) that strength will help him pull through...:)

      Thank you, Linda...from the depths of my heart...

      Big Hugs xoxoxo

  12. And very big hugs back to you Ygraine. I am so sorry that you are going through this stressful time but keep good thoughts for your husband's full recovery.

    Our thoughts are very powerful and I'm sure he is sensing your love and presence, through all of this too.

    I've been through many times like this myself, in different circumstances. The waiting is the worst part. Take care and know that many people are wishing you both well and are sending good thoughts and lots of love your way.

    Hugs, G

    1. Dearest Geraldine...I was so sad to hear that you, too, have endured this dreadful waiting...for however long ago that does leave a deep emotional scar. I still haven't fully recovered from loss of my baby daughter...and the heartbreaking two weeks of watching and waiting that seemed more like a hundred years. I think maybe this situation has re-opened those old wounds.

      I know you are right about us sensing the presence of our loved ones in times of crisis...I have been experiencing chest pain, backache and coughing since he has been in hospital: just stress...or a deep bond of compassion?
      I will probably never know for sure, but I do tend to lean towards the latter.

      My dear friend, your kind support is so, so precious to me...thank you again...from the depths of my heart.:)

      Big Hugs xoxoxo

  13. Yesterday pain felt in the heart of those that care. I hope today and the future brings better memories. Nice post.

    May God uphold you and your family through this difficut time. Though, the terrain may be rough, it sure will straightened/smoothed with prayers, hope, love and positive mindset. You won't come last in my prayers.


    1. Oh Sweetie...thank you so, so much for all your kindness and support throughout this difficult time in my life. It truly does mean everything to me...and thank you for those prayers. They really are appreciated so much.:)

      Big Hugs xoxoxo

  14. I will keep sending healing prayers! Much love my friend! Keep strong! I am so sorry for what your hubby is going through! For what your entire family is going through! Feel my prayers!
    Your writing is very touching! As always!


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