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Sunday, 25 September 2016

INITIATION



By the fourth night of sleeping alone
at St. Nectan's Glen I'd finally cracked.
The visions had started and I couldn't handle it -
even though it was what I came here for,
was a crucial part of my training.
The fasting, the constant meditations -
all were taking their toll. I felt weak,
light-headed and shaky.

What a fool!
Naivety had fostered the expectation
of some gentle, easy transformation,
not this gruelling hardship
that seriously challenged my understanding
of life, time and being.
The biting wind and dampness of the forest
did little to help either.  I felt myself
physically and mentally fragmenting...

Bells tolling in the dead of night.
Struggling to my feet, half asleep.
Scrambling through bracken, ankle deep in mud.
Following the sound.
Up steep stone steps,
feeling my way in the darkness,
through dense blacked-out woodland.
Then, just as the ringing ceased,
I found the Hermit's Cell:
ruinous, sombre.
Much like my spirits.

Then the rain came.
Thick, penetrating drizzle
so typical of this part of the country.
Shivering, soaked to the skin and thoroughly miserable,
I'd finally had enough. Reaching
into an inside pocket for my phone,
intending to call my mentor and plead for a reprieve.
Nothing...no signal.
Despair.
Sense of total isolation and helplessness.

The rain ceased and a full moon appeared between the trees.
I stood motionless, watching the strange shadows
that seemed to flit around those crumbling walls
that were reputed to have once been home
to the tutor of Merlyn Himself.
The very stones appeared to be alive
and the unmistakable scent of incense
filled the damp air.
It was then that I noticed the figure.

Clad in hooded grey robe, it's face obscured
in shadow, I was sure
it was looking directly at me.
I froze, acutely aware of my extreme vulnerability.
But gentle words uttered in a language not my own
began to flow through me like Prana, allaying all fears.
And I understood them!
I haven't the slightest idea how.
I just did.

A kind of spiral enclosed me then
in soothing golden light - yet, simultaneously,
I seemed to be outside of it all,
observing the seasons, the planets, the suns
cycling through the aeons - and
I felt a part of this stunning spectacle,
so knew I had no end myself
and that only this body would eventually perish,
not this I who thinks, feels, and now
was just beginning to grasp the unfathomable.

And that knowledge filled my entire being
with an ecstasy like nothing I'd ever known before.
It was moving way beyond personality,
beyond thought or emotion -
even fear could no longer touch me.
So this is what it meant to be Druid -
to be part of the Old Gods' Grand Plan:
a messenger, an open channel...
with the Universe in her eyes.

39 comments:

  1. My Dearest, Ygraine, this is beautiful, enchanting...I want to be there. I want to see and feel what being a Druid is, as she...as you, became.
    I want to turn another page and continue on with this narrative. I want to metamorphose into this other being...this druid.
    Wonderfully written, my dear friend~

    Hugs & Much Love
    xoxoxo

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    Replies
    1. My dear Jan...there is nothing on Earth I would have liked more than to have had you there beside me too...but then, I kinda think that in Spirit you were anyway!:))

      Thank you with all my heart for your kind words...my appreciation is absolute...

      All My Love & Hugs xoxoxo

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  2. Riveting. Riveting. Riveting. From start to finish. Thanks.

    Greetings from London.

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    Replies
    1. Oh wow...thank you, CiL...so much! :))

      Have a fabulous weekend.

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  3. Hi dear Ygraine, I echo what Jan and A Cuban in London said. And I could not say it any better! Thank you so much for sharing your amazing talent.

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    1. Oh thank you so much, Dearest Linda...that truly means so much to me.:))
      And thank you for your wonderful blog...it is my sanctuary.

      Much Love & hugs xoxoxo

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  4. I became completely absorbed, like this somehow included me.. Wonderful, wonderful….

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    Replies
    1. Wow...such a compliment...thank you so, so much!
      And there I was...thinking I was so isolated and alone...*smiles*

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  5. I am fasting every Saturday, having only leak broth ... it cleans and clears mind, body and soul ... is humbling as well ... glad you had the experience you had, friend Y ... Love, cat.

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    1. Ha, yes, in retrospect I can appreciate the gain...but at the time...I was ready to cut and run! lol
      Thank so much, my Friend...and is there any leak broth left over?
      I surely could have used some to warm me up over those cold nights! lol

      Big Hugs xoxoxo

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  6. Wow what a beautiful painting of words displaying the feelings of insidious world .
    Best wishes

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  7. Wow what a beautiful painting of words displaying the feelings of insidious world .
    Best wishes

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    Replies
    1. Oh wow...thank you so much...I am so happy you liked this.
      It was one of those rare experiences that I just had to share!:))

      Have a Great Weekend. xoxoxo

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  8. Ah, what a beautiful read. Not everyone get to feel that I think.

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    Replies
    1. Oh thank you, Lux...so much.
      I'm still not quite sure exactly what happened there...could it have been no more than an hallucination brought on by sleep and light deprivation?!
      I'll probably never know for sure...*smiles*

      Have a Brilliant Day.:))

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    2. Probably. :)
      Happy October!

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  9. Beautiful, magical, heart warming! WOW! Wonderfully written! Big Hugs!

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    1. Oh Sweetie...thank you...thank you...so much!!
      Just wanted to say again how much I adore your beautiful paintings.
      They are Gorgeous!!! :))

      Big Hugs xoxoxo

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  10. Lovely read Ygraine my dear friend.

    There are times I have so much going through my mind until eventually it comes to an end, all thoughts have ceased where there's no thoughts left to the point that my mind becomes completely blank.

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    Replies
    1. Oh thank you, Lon...I'm so happy you liked this!

      I know what you mean...I sometimes feel that way too...all those thoughts streaming through you at the speed of light - then...nothing.
      Hang on in there, my Friend...you are never truly alone with this...:))

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  11. Boa tarde, foi uma boa experiência para contra como faz falta sentir o corpo aquecido por corações desejosos.
    Boa semana,
    AG

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    Replies
    1. Oh thank you, Antonio...so much!:)

      Wishing you a Fabulous Weekend!

      A Hug.

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  12. Wow! I was spellbound! Wonderful writing and relaying of a transformative experience. I've missed you. <3

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    1. Been missing you too, MW!
      And thank you so, so much for such a generous comment...I really appreciate that...:)

      Big Hugs xoxoxo

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  13. Replies
    1. Oh thank you, Antonio!

      Wishing you a Brilliant Weekend!! :))

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  14. Beyond spiritual, you went, all the way into the darkness to see the light, your writing hurts and heals and one day, when my 2 remaining cats go to heaven, I will take that walk, alone, where no one needs me...and maybe I will see, as you did, Lovely, lovely you xoxoxo I miss you Ygraine

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh Sweetie...the depth of your empathy never ceases to amaze me. Truly!
      Thank you...oh thank you for being my friend and believing in me.
      It means so much...:))

      You are always in my thoughts...
      with All My Love & Hugs xoxoxo

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  15. Such magnetism, urges any imagination's, deeper read, "Y"_! _m

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    1. Thank you so much, Doug...that you felt it too means so much! :))

      Have a Fabulous Weekend.

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  16. I came to read and feel it again dear .
    Your mesmerizing way of description hold my heart strongly and dipped me in the flow of yours

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    1. Oh WOW...that is SUCH a compliment!
      I feel totally humbled...thank you, from the depths of my heart! :))

      A Hug.

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  17. May we display your header on our new site directory? As it is now, the site title (linked back to your home page) is listed, and we think displaying the header will attract more attention. In any event, we hope you will come by and see what is going on at SiteHoundSniffs.com.

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    1. Hi Jerry,
      I have just dropped by and your site looks great.

      Do hope you are having a brilliant weekend! :))

      Delete
    2. Thank you for the compliment, but you did not answer whether or not we can display your header like the others are. So, may we?

      Delete
  18. Naivety often fosters expectations, doesn't it? Have a lovely weekend :)

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    1. Definitely!!
      And I should know...at times in my life I've been just about the most naive person I've ever known! *smiles*

      Wishing you a fabulous weekend too...:))

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  19. this is amazing! I must "remember" to get here more often and read your poetry. simply wonderful!

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    Replies
    1. Oh you are so kind, Sandy...my heart-felt thanks! :))

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Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment on my posts.
I really appreciate hearing your opinions...:)