TEETH

For P...with much affection

He keeps his dentures spotlessly clean,
shining white, devoid of dullness
or even the odd coffee stain.

Lacking root or fixative, he risks
their temporary nature and smiles and whistles,
so proud of his perfect teeth.

They glow in the candlelight
and outshine snow in winter.
On New Year's Eve at a party

he drank and drank, far too much
and overate then danced a wild jig -
against his better judgement.

Then he needed some air so staggered outside
and the cold out there
impacted his stomach

and made him throw up.
Well, mortified, he snuck away home,
but halfway there - shock horror -

he realised his teeth were missing.
So his long-suffering wife
drove him back to the spot,

where he found his pearly whites
all shiny and bright
in the centre of a dollop of vomit! ;))