FATE

Knew I shouldn't have gone today,

Should've had a day away,

Should've listened to my inner voice say

That someone my hide today would flay.

Wish I'd listened and stayed away!

First I woke too late for a bath,

Then the mirror fell onto the hearth,

And when a black cat passed my path,

I swerved and incurred a motorist's wrath.

If only I'd stayed behind for that bath!

I arrived at work, and while racing in

Managed to trip over the bin

Which sent it flying in a spin

Until it collided (what a terrible din)

With my boss' new Aston Martin.

Predictably, he came out in a rage

Like an actor taking centre stage,

And threatened my face with his fist to engage,

While I cowered before him and tried to assuage

His anger by offering repairs from my wage.

Fuming he yelled, 'That isn't enough!'

'But,' I replied, 'It's just a small scuff!'

His face turned purple as he left in a huff,

Then returned with a soft cloth to lovingly buff

His concours prize winner that now could be duff!

'Get out of my sight and never come back!'

He screamed at me as he gave me the sack.

I wanted to ask for my briefcase and mac,

But I thought if I dared I'd come under attack!

So I left with nought but this morning's lunch pack.

I knew I shouldn't have gone today.

How I wish I'd stayed away!!