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Thursday 15 May 2014

OLD MOVIES

They take over my mind. It isn't enough
to simply sit and watch from opening credits
to final scene. I want to absorb them all,
to let them fill the empty spaces in my life,
to race across the moor to Wuthering Heights;
soaked in  heavy rain and cold sweat
as I breathe in the moisture laden air and run
through purple heather with Cathy:
two manic Souls on a shared quest
to find the impossible,
as wild as the hills beneath our feet.
An intoxicated brain longs to bring my body too,
to make it my story
and carve my initials on a thorn tree, beside a date
that even Cathy cannot touch...

It would be simple if this were the only one.
But there are so many - a hundred at least -
each someone else's brainchild, manifested
into old video cassettes that I can handle
and absorb into my being through nerve endings
made hypersensitive by life-long addiction.
Aah...the sensuous smell of those tapes
makes me dizzy with euphoria:
I often wish I could unravel
then re-arrange my molecules into a long
ribbon-like form and wind myself around two spools.

The first time I felt this way
was when I discovered Ryan's Daughter.
Something like an express train slammed into me
and smashed right through those deep seated repressions
that society instills into us in the name of "morals"
in it's attempt to curb our innate natural drives.
Oh I realise it was considered wrong, what they did,
but how it set my pulses racing
to observe them together in that emerald forest.
I became the voyeur no longer able to bear exclusion.
I had to be a part of it, to slip within the experience
and feel my body tingle from the touch of his fingertips...

Then someone called me "Rose"
and I found myself in Major Doryan's arms
and we fucked all afternoon.
Oh such indescribable bliss...

I thought I must be dreaming.
Then I noticed my life story playing out
in moving pictures on my skin.

28 comments:

  1. Ah the joy of watching old movies. We definitely do sometimes see ourselves in these stories don't we? I remember watching the Henry Fonda version of "Twelve Angry Men" and loving it. I saw myself in that jury room arguing on behalf of the young boy. And I loved the Marlon Brando version of "Mutiny on the Bounty". I saw myself as Fletcher Christian falling in love with the island girl :)

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  2. So relieved to find there is someone else almost as mad as me! *smiles*
    Those old movies are so addictive though, aren't they?
    Life would be so empty without them!
    Thank you so much, Keith :)

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  3. Wonderful, simply wonderful!!! I, too, love the old movies, Ygraine. To me they are like "time capsules" of the past. Black and white images of a romanticized world from long ago~

    Hugs
    xoxoxo

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    1. Oh thank you so much, Jan!
      I so agree with you...that romanticized world is so addictive.
      Why is it that real life is often so mundane in comparison? *smiles*

      Hugs xxx

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  4. Ygraine,
    You must come to my house as my hubby and I love the old movies.
    I saw Ryan's Daughter , so you imagined yourself to be Rosy in the Major's arms , oh, oh, was it bliss? LOL
    Superb writing here, Ygraine.
    Loved it.
    Now I think I just might go look for an old movie to enjoy on my day off, never know what I might find as hubby has so many recorded.

    Have a wonderful weekend.
    xxx

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    1. Oh I'd simply love to visit you, Margie!
      It would be so nice to share and old movie with a good friend...think I'll be off to dig out my copy of "Jane Eyre" later!! LOL

      Hope you have a great weekend too.

      Hugs xxx

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  5. Pulled me in completely, especially the two movies you become a part of each time. They are both favorites. I’ll be watching both soon. These old movies play on a small screen in my studio when I paint alone.

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    1. Those two pull me in too, Anthony...until I begin to wonder if I AM the tape it is recorded on!! LOL
      I hadn't thought of having a favourite movie playing while I work...perhaps it would improve my writing...

      Many thanks:)

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  6. ha. there are def some old movies that grab me...your description of what the smell does to you...that is like me and books...i love the smell of books....ryan's daughter...not sure i have seen that one...will have to look it up

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    1. Yes...I like the smell of old books too. I read most of these stories before watching the movie versions...I never tire of either!
      If you do ever watch Ryan's Daughter, please do let me know what you think...John Mills' portrayal of "Michael" is truly amazing...:)

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  7. Wow, wow, wow, you wowed me Ygraine, you simply blew my mind wit this poem! Fantastic writing and I absolutely love, love, love your last verse!
    Well done :)))

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    1. Oh thank you, Rose...so so much!
      You will never know how much your kind words mean to me...:)

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  8. Haha wrll lovely write up, was quite mesmerising. Not a fan of old movies though. Old books oh yes!

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    1. Thank you so much, Midnight.
      As I mentioned to Brian earlier, I am also a fan of books too.
      I simply adore them :)

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  9. 'Sense'sational, absolute delight permitted or not, living the moment of exctasy knowing it's never our own but settling for passions that lives from toe to hair unacknowledged, unseen unbearable

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    1. You are so eloquent, Lorraine...how I wish I could find the words to express what I'm trying to say as easily as you do.
      THAT is exactly how I would have liked to describe the experience...like you just have...
      Thank you so much...:)

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  10. Not only did I like the poem (loved it, really) but even the "f" word made sense in that context. There's nothing better than catching an old movie on TCM in the middle of the week during daytime. It makes you stop and appreciate life more. In my case, I have to watch Casablanca at least once per year. :-)

    Greetings from London.

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    1. I did agonize over the inclusion of the "f" word, but was unable to come up with a suitable alternative that felt powerful enough. I do hope I haven't caused any offence!
      Ha..."Jane Eyre" is my annual treat...usually watched around mid December. I am almost phobic about this particular ritual! lol

      Have a great weekend :)

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  11. Old movies are the best. Mom and I enjoy them all the time. There is something special about them ;o) Love your words ;o)

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    1. Many thanks, Stacy...I so agree, they are really special.
      For me, few modern movies could ever compare with these old gems...they are magical!

      Hugs xxx

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  12. Nada como las viejas peliculas, saludos.

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    1. Many thanks, Boris.
      That is so appreciated :)

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  13. Your writing instigate my comments without yours, there wouldn't be mine, you are THE writer

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    1. You are so kind, Lorraine...but I still consider you the greatest wordsmith!

      Hugs xxx

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  14. I know you're the writer and I write great comments yay us!!! lol hugs always xxx

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    1. Well, we ARE Astral Sisters!! ;)

      Big Hugs xxx

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  15. Stunning poetry..I am always transported into a different space while, during and after reading your poems..beautiful..
    I have missed your creative realm and have enjoyed my visit!
    Shine on kindred
    Victoria

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  16. Oh thank you, Victoria...your kind words mean so much.
    It is great to hear from you again...I have missed you.

    Hugs xxx

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I really appreciate hearing your opinions...:)