MENOPAUSAL

What on earth is happening here?
I've always lived a life beyond fear,
Yet now I've become a gibbering wreck
Whose confidence just hit the deck.

I loved outrageously flirting with men
Until a month ago and then
I suddenly felt self-conscious and shy
So lost the courage to even try.

I'm up, I'm down, my head's in a spin.
Every night I just want to stay in
And watch a movie - unthinkable for me,
This party girl who loved to feel free.

My cycle that was so automatic
Has now become annoyingly erratic,
And these hot flushes without a doubt
Are dragging me down and wearing me out.

The makeup I've always loved to wear
Now drives me to the depths of despair.
It settles into those wrinkles I see
On the woman in the mirror who's older than me.

My skinny jeans no longer fit,
As middle age spread is appearing a bit;
And muscle tone has gone to the wall.
My pride has certainly taken a fall.

I lose my keys. I lock myself out.
I'm going insane without a doubt.
I'm forgetting faces and names of places,
I even got lost at the Sandown races.

I'm beginning to feel unattractive and old -
And very unsexy, if truth be told.
So I skulk in the corner trying to hide.
To be seen, I can no longer abide.

So what is to become of me -
Do you think from this hell I'll ever be free?
It's high time Nature invented a clause
Forbidding the onset of menopause!