Friday, 3 May 2013


for Annabelle...

It feels good, doesn't it?
Go on...just one more double Vodka,
followed by a Benedictine chaser.
See how the faces blur
and voices seem far away.

Oh, and you can't possibly refuse
a couple of Rum and Cokes -
such a rich, vibrant colour.
How their magic lifts you:
you're incredibly high and invincible.

Now, how about a Gin and Tonic?
Or perhaps two? No, more than that.
Three? Four? More?
Before you know it
you're dancing on the ceiling.

The floor begins to lurch and roll,
but that only adds to the fun.
Being eighteen and euphoric is...WOW!
You can drink all you want in public now
an adult you've legally become.

You're really on a roll now:
flirting, teasing, flashing boobs and bum.
You feel like a celebrity -
never dreamt you could be this bold.
All attention's exclusively yours.

And those men who dare to dare you?
Bah! You'll show them!
True to form, this feminist
will drink them under the table -
every last one of them.

And you do, too...quickly losing count
of precisely how many pints, just
'Keep 'em coming!' you slur,
until club lights disappear
into darkness...then flashing blue light.

You find yourself in a hospital bed.
Your head is splitting, you're violently sick
and your eyeballs and skin have turned yellow.
Your kidneys are failing, your liver can't cope
and the doctors fear for your life.

That confident you from the nightclub last week
has totally disappeared.
You're quaking, sobbing
and pleading for help
like a lost and terrified child.

You beg, grovel and bargain with God,
'Spare my life and I promise I'll stop!'
But you know deep inside
it's just another lie.
You've been a drunk since the age of twelve.

At twenty-one you're laid to rest,
your parents and sisters are bereft.
Your mother blames herself, you know.
She believes her career she placed above you,
and this is how you coped.

The sad truth was no-ones fault -
just a weakness within you.
No freak accident took your life,
nor cancer cells out of control.
But, tragically, you had a choice,
and you took the terminal route.


  1. So sad but true. Didn't??
    You write so well.xo

    1. Yes, it is so very sad - and what makes it even more tragic is that it is happening more and more frequently in our society. It is really worrying.
      Many thanks for reading this Gloria. xx

    2. This is so real to me.Sometimes I daugther drink so much beer!
      But is in some times only. But I think the teens drink so much today especially beer! Sigh!

    3. I know what you mean. My son drinks a lot of spirits, but fortunately not all the time, only when he is socialising.
      It certainly is a worry though, isn't it?!

  2. so so sad. very raw and strikes such a deep note in me. xoxo

    1. In my late teens I went through a phase of drinking far too much alcohol...this could so very easily have been my story instead of poor Annabelle's.
      Many thanks Nyssa. xx

  3. A brilliantly written cautionary tale of our age. So much truth and insight in it. It should have a lot of exposure.

    1. Thank you Dave.
      I guess that's my reason for writing this - as a warning to others. Not that they will listen though. At that age, I doubt that I would have. It was only after losing a close friend to alcoholism that the seriousness of it struck home.:(

  4. SO sad and emotive...but beautiful at the same time!!

    1. Thank you Keith - that is so appreciated!:)

  5. Thank you for a wonderful post and for reminding me how blessed I am to have found recovery 12 years ago.


    1. That is wonderful to hear, Madison.
      Recovery is such a long, hard road to travel.I am so proud of you.
      Many thanks for your visit.
      Hope you are having a great Sunday xx

  6. Blimey, you can do light-hearted, but you can also do the dark stuff perfectly. I have read it four times now. One of my favourite poems by you so far. This one spoke volumes to me. Many thanks.

    Greetings from London.

    1. Oh thank you, that is so kind!
      I am so glad you enjoyed reading it. That makes it all feel worthwhile.
      Thank you from the heart:)

  7. Replies
    1. Many thanks Giancarlo.
      Wonderful to hear from you :)

  8. this is such an intelligent write ... I loved it. :)

    1. Thank you so much.
      That is so appreciated:)

  9. I will close my eyes and offer up a silent prayer ... for Annabelle and those who come after.
    Beautifully direct - like an arrow.

    1. Me too, Dale. It is so sad to see anyone self-destruct like this.
      Many, many thanks:)

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  11. Ygraine, You have an amazing talent - Brilliantly written indeed xxx

    1. Thank you so much, Rose.
      It was written as a sort of tribute to Annabelle, and as a warning to others in her position.
      I am so grateful for your kind words. xxx

  12. Holy wow you are brilliant your writing explodes with truths ignored, you are responsible for your life..Hell you're an exquisite trauma story writer....and I jump over others, I read here I read there i find it better than following chronology...don't know why, maybe it's the surprise...

    either way, I will be back everyday and read something from some other time, other place, other hurt...I am amazed by the power within you


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