JEANNIE AND I

Jeannie my closest friend and I
were forever making our teachers cry.
It's what we always did in school
by encouraging each other to play the fool.

Oh how we disrupted every class,
reducing each lesson to childish farce
just so our teachers would throw us out
then - yippee - we'd once more go walkabout.

It was hide-and-seek we loved to play
in the endless corridors of North Block A,
but then one day we strayed further afield
way out across the downland weald.

Then as we slunk home long after tea
I was terrified of how cross my mother would be.
And I wasn't wrong - she screamed and shouted.
I'd be grounded for weeks now, I never doubted.

Ah, such loss of liberty conjured in me
images of my parent as the enemy.
So, egged on by Jeannie, I sought out my mother
and gave her a piece of my mind - oh brother -

did I get into major trouble that day!
All of my privileges were taken away,
and when my father was duly informed
to improve my behavour I was gravely warned.

So I crept away on the verge of tears,
inwardly besieged by nameless fears
and sought out Jeannie for some friendly advice
and she sympathized with my plight, her eyes cold as ice.

"Now what you must do is run away -
show a little spirit and disobey!
Pack your bags after school tomorrow
and take your revenge in their bitter sorrow.

We'll meet up in the dead of night
outside your gate in the bright moonlight."
"But where will we go?" I nervously inquired.
"We'll decide in the taxi that I'll have hired."

So all next day I was deep in thought,
barely took in a thing I was taught.
And I closed my ears and eyes to Jeannie,
whom I was coming to regard a bit of a meanie.

I mean, how could I treat my parents like that?
Was I becoming a spiteful brat?
And so I told Jeannie I was calling it off,
but all she did was berate me and scoff:

"Oh you're such a coward, a weak little thing -
no better than a puppet on your parents' string.
Stand up for yourself for once and be free
or you'll no longer find a friend in me!"

Ouch! That really hurt and for the rest of the day
I sobbed and cried the hours away.
But then to my senses I finally came:
"Jeannie," I said, "This isn't a game!

You've bossed me around and controlled my life
and brought down upon me too much strife.
Well now I've decided it's going to end -
I no longer need an imaginary friend!"