PARANOID

Once I had a best friend
I trusted with my life.
How, you're wondering, did it end?
Well now she's my boyfriend's wife.

It's left me increasingly paranoid,
I don't know who to trust.
My faith in others is totally void,
as a broken heart turns to rust.

On a night flight into Heathrow
I'm terrified our plane'll crash land,
or that a terror cell will overthrow
the crew and force our pilot's hand

to take a gun and shoot us all
exactly where we sit,
and in my mind I watch us fall
as one-by-one we're hit.

Oh such relief when we disembark -
then I spy the customs man.
When his sniffer dog begins to bark
it's time for a fast-hatched plan.

For I'm certain he'll plant something on me
to earn himself brownie points.
I wonder what this time it'll be -
a package of ready-rolled joints??

With pounding heart I hurry by,
but it goes without a hitch.
Then I'm convinced I'll surely die
on the back streets of Shoreditch.

For I've heard it said that hereabouts
they'll roll you for a pound,
so if you've any complacent doubts
then just try hanging around!

Phew! I'm finally home and dry...
now I need some chill-out time.
So a local pub I decide to try
where the band plays a decent rhyme.

Well I leave my Bacardi to go to the loo
and when I return to my table
my instinctive mistrust is proved quite true -
honesty's no more than a fable.

My drink's been stolen and there's no one to blame,
it's gone without a trace.
Oh I guess, being female, I'm fair game:
must be written all over my face.

So I decide to leave and while walking home
along a footpath through the woods,
I imagine, when footfalls I hear in the loam,
a gang of murderous hoods.

I begin to run, and the faster I go
the shadows speed up too.
Soon the trees appear to grow
into grotesque monsters who

are clutching at me with bony fingers
as if to tear out my heart.
I'm terror-stricken and the feeling lingers.
It's blowing my mind apart.

Oh these paranoia blues are killing me,
asleep or awake there's no peace.
If only someday I could be free,
I'd pay the Devil's lease.

So tell me please in all honesty:
whose side are you on?
Is your friendship no more than a travesty,
or can you be relied upon?   ;))