MISSING LINK

My best friend from school
became a top model

which was fantastic for her but left me feeling
somewhat lacking. I knew I wasn't

particularly feminine, but neither was I lesbian.
Uncomfortable in dresses and mystified by girl-talk,

I did nevertheless date guys
and write them erotic, suggestive poems -

while living in terror of actual intimacy:
that one of them would someday believe me "normal"

and venture beyond painted face and padded bra
to discover the odd little boyish creature beneath,

then divulge my guilty secret to all and sundry,
humiliating me to the core...



A mother now and far from ideal wife,
for innate awkwardness still generates

a pronounced reticence that must be off-putting.
I live off-balance, making excuses

to avoid wifely duties: cleaning, sewing, cooking, I abhor;
preferring instead motor sports, sword fighting and archery -

and  I'm more adept at these than most men I know!
No one seems to know what to make of me.

I am definitely not your archetypal female.
I am Aries woman: gender's missing link.