Thursday 31 December 2020


 For my late Father, with much love...

Stepping out here into a parallel universe.
My outstretched hands locate an unsettling void
where the cabin should be. At least, it was here -
but now the spikyness of the giant yucca 
is prickling my palms. Familiarity,
I begin to realise, is mostly expectation.
My garden's a foreign language only half understood,
translating indistinct shapes into imaginary monsters:
I ought to know my rose bush, but a shroud
of blurry grey distorts it something menacing.
Only this afternoon it was a mass of yellow blooms
and gradually, now I'm forcing my eyes to adjust to the dark,
I see faint pale orbs appear and then fade -
welcome signposts in this infinite gloom.
And towering above me, the oak tree,
jet black against the moonless sky, many-limbed, half human;
it's gigantic bony claws reaching for me...
old childhood fears once more possess my receptive mind.
Suddenly I need you here beside me
to allay my terror - just as you always did so long ago.
Pulses fear-racing, I call out to you,
firing my earnest entreaty across the unseen veil.
But it's syllables are lost in the mists of time,
are now no more than mere echoes of what once was...
and I miss you.
Oh how I miss you...


Thursday 24 December 2020


An ordinary Sunday in December.
Here I am without an inkling
on a Sunday, thinking it normal.
Here I wait in an endless gap
between wishing and fulfilment.

Here I am, without prophetic sight,
hearing the collective engine roar
while consumed by anticipation.

Here is my Checo, starting fifth on the grid.
Rounding a bend...CRASH!...spinning off.
Now last. My stomach churning.
NO! Oh no!! All hope lost.
I am crushed, not again!

Hang on a minute - where's your faith?
He's good with tyres and at overtaking.
What kind of fan are you
to imagine the worst? LOOK -
he's already fourth from the back!

My Mexican Hero, streaming through the pack - 
he's third now, oh dare I hope?
A ten year wait, already too long.
Willing, hoping, praying that today's his day.

The go go go of adrenaline rush - my heart
in sync with his - pounding.
Oh please Checo, no mistakes now!
Such euphoria. Feeling for him,
willing him on...

He's done it - he's done it!!!
The sixth of December, twenty-twenty,
in Bahrain...a Sunday

so extraordinary, so spectacular,
that I'll remember for the rest of my life!
YAY!!   πŸ‡²πŸ‡½πŸπŸ‡²πŸ‡½πŸπŸ‡²πŸ‡½πŸπŸ‡²πŸ‡½πŸπŸ‡²πŸ‡½πŸπŸ†πŸ†πŸ†

Congrats, Checo, on your first F1 victory!!
Here's hoping for many more next year with your new team, Red Bull πŸ€πŸ€πŸ€


Sunday 20 December 2020


That day I travelled to find an answer,
I shook with fear as I sought out
the unfamiliar hospital. Then, when I found it
I stood outside, trying hard to calm my raging nerves.

Inside, a Covid-deserted waiting room,
walls covered in red warning signs: wear a mask,
social distancing.  Soon, a nurse ushered me
into a room that felt like doom.

Cold seeped in from an open window.
I shivered. The Judge was about to pass sentence.
I sat through eternity. In the silence between
I wished myself a million miles away

and not feeling so vulnerable, so flawed, so inferior -
but to be lounging instead in front of the TV
and sipping coffee, buried in scatter cushions; rather
than hearing the term "further investigation" define my future...

Phew, am I glad that is over...for now! 😊

Friday 4 December 2020


The small eyes and large nose -
endurable now as Quasimodo's hump,
loathed until embarrassment gives way
to a kind of resigned acceptance.

God's experiment gone awry:
Spirit of woman incarnated
in flawed form. Self-loathing, insecure,
yet desperately longing to be loved

for what she is inside,
for all she has to give.
Oh if only a kind heart were prized
as highly as outer beauty...

Not to be taken too seriously, guys...just a little fun at my own expense!! Lol

I am taking a short break from blogging, as I have to go to hospital for more, rather invasive 😝, tests.
I hope to "see" you again real soon.
Until then, have a great time, and stay safe and happy! 😊😊 xxxxx