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Thursday 19 August 2021

THE COURAGE OF THE PAIN-WRACKED

The courage of the pain-wracked, in spite of the onslaught!
The smile forced for others. A convincing mask.
There is agony behind it, and the dread it will never end,
and the frustration of helplessness, the hopelessness of it.
The anxiety cuts deep, silently crying out for help -

loaded, as it is, with hidden self-pity.
Self-pity? Imbecile! Who cares how much you hurt?!
A red hot sword journeying through the nerves:
Hell's Imp, playing in brain with nervous system, 
prodding with pronged fork, a skilled torturer

inflicting agony upon the cursed Soul
with a glee that knows no bounds, 
supremely skilled in his favourite sport.
The Imp is resolute, there is no anaesthetic.
He has been ignored too long, now his presence is felt.

So the suffering radiates, like a fearful nuclear fallout,
and there is only the primitive tongue to express
such depth of pain. But it hasn't the words,
it is inadequate. Should it be cut out?
And the futile sobbing. So ineffective.

Sustenance, too, is rendered impossible - is stored 
in memory's archive with fellow outdated files,
while watching others tuck in. Starvation beckons.
It has become an obsession, food.
A substance more precious than diamonds.

But how about the eyes of the afflicted, the eyes?
Constantly dulled by the hidden curse
and often moist with tears. And the mirror -
that face in there is the face of a dead woman,
so drawn and pale with hollow cheeks,

a ghostly Seer, whose prophecies
bring such apprehension. A merciless judge
passing sentence upon the innocent:
a life sentence of neverending pain.
Courageous? No. I am scared...so scared.


My humblest apologies, dear friends, for taking so long to visit you all. I am currently awaiting a brain scan. In the meantime, I will visit you all as often as I possibly can. Thank you so, so much for all of your kind support😊
Been missing you all so much xxx

42 comments:

  1. There is courage behind the masks, but many lives lose their faces. This agony behind fear reveals our weakness and our perseverance, because if the fear doesn't end, we will persist, because more than existing, we like to live.
    It is always a pleasure to read your writing so intimate and sincere, my sweet and beloved Ygraine.
    Many kisses for you with health and hope for better days!!! 😊

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    Replies
    1. Indeed, Doug...it is that instinctive will to live that keeps us going, isn't it?!😊😊
      The medication is finally beginning to take the edge off the pain, now all that's needed is a shorter waiting list...πŸ˜‰
      Thank you so much, my dear and precious friend!

      I hope you are staying well and safe...

      Many Kisses xxx

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  2. Ygraine, MY GOOD FRIEND, my heart and thoughts have been with you, more than you know!!!

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    1. Lon, my dear friend...my most heartfelt thanks ❤

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  3. a dark but beautiful poem as always dear Ygraine my fiend...

    in this era, everyday was an unpredictable moment

    hopefully, one day we will live without fear ^^

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    1. How wonderful a future that would be!
      Indeed, we must live with hope and love in our hearts❤
      Thank you so much, dear friend😊😊

      Hugs xxx

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  4. The writing here is so awesome. I just wish the subject matter was more abstract and being observed from a great distance. So, hoping you feel better soon.

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    1. Oh thank you so much, Anthony.😊😊
      Yes, I wish that too...but at least the meds are beginning to kick in now. Hopefully they will eventually find the source of the problem...

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  5. Like always you are really amazing!. Hope all goes well!.
    Send you hugs and love dear Ygraine!!

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    1. Aww, thank you, dear Gloria...so much.😊😊
      Sending much love and hugs back ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

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  6. I am so so sorry. Pain is an all pervasive beast. Sending gentle (so very gentle) cyber hugs your way.

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    1. Dearest Sue, I know you understand exactly where I'm coming from...in fact much more so.
      Writing about it helped a great deal.😊
      Those hugs are so, so appreciated...my most heartfelt thanks!
      Huge hugs and love ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

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  7. Well you're poem is amazing...so descriptive of fear, pain, etc. But reading why you haven't written much is concerning. So hope all is well with you.

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    1. just read some of the comments. I didn't know you were having some issues and just sending a virtual hug. darn.

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    2. Aww, thank you so much, Sandy...that virtual hug is so gratefully received!😊😊

      Have a great day, dear friend!

      Hugs xxx

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  8. Your words are amazing.
    You are amazing.

    Sending healing thoughts to you.
    Hoping the medication can ease your pain and you will not have too long a wait for your scan.

    Thinking of you and sending my good wishes

    All the best Jan

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    Replies
    1. Aww, you are so kind, Jan...my heartfelt thanks!😊😊
      Fortunately, my meds are working well now. It's just the side effects that are causing problems...and the length of the waiting lists! πŸ˜‰

      Hope your Sunday is a good one!

      Hugs xxx

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  9. You may be afraid but you are also brave. I say this because if that hadn't happened, you wouldn't have written a poem of this human dimension and lyrical richness only available to good poets. My applause for that.
    Hope you get well quickly.
    Have a good weekend, in peace with yourself and with your pain gone.
    Kisses, my dear friend Ygraine.

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    Replies
    1. Oh thank you so, so much, dear friend Jaime!😊😊
      Yes, the medication is working quite well now, apart from the unwelcome side effects!πŸ˜πŸ˜‰

      Hope your weekend is a good one.

      Kisses xxx

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  10. Wonderful:) thanks for your sharing...

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    1. Thank you so much!😊😊

      Have a great day!

      Hugs xxx

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  11. Replies
    1. Many thanks, Giancarlo!😊😊

      Have a great afternoon x

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  12. Best of luck with the scan and your health overall.

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    1. Many, many thanks, Alexander...your kind words mean so much!😊😊

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  13. Oh WOW, you are so kind, Giannis...and my sincerest thanks.😊😊
    I hope I will never give up. I do strongly believe that all we face in life is for a good reason...I just sometimes have a little trouble in finding that reason!πŸ˜‰

    Have a great day!😊😊

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  14. Beautifully written and wishing you well

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    1. Thank you so much, Steve...both for your visit and your kind wishes! So very appreciated.😊😊

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  15. You're On My Mind - Sending Love

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much...I really appreciate that.😊😊

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  16. Wonderful:) thanks for your sharing.

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    1. Many thanks, Azka...very much appreciated.😊😊

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  17. Sweetheart, thinking of you!! I hope you are ok??? Sending BIG HUGS!!!!
    I know I might be late coming around, but you are always in my prayers!!!!
    You know how much I love your meaningful words!

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    1. Was,Sweetie, you are so kind...my most heartfelt thanks 😊😊
      Still struggling with health issues...and very long waiting lists!πŸ™„ Lol
      Trying to stay positive though, there are many people in a much worse situation than I am.
      More importantly, how are you dear friend? I do so hope you are well and happy!
      Sending lots of love and hugs, always ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

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