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Friday 23 December 2016

ON DECK

Midnight on the Norfolk Broads. Moored up.
Snuggled up in fleecy throws, sipping hot soup
from Land's End mugs, we sit in silence on deck
each lost in our own private thoughts.
My gaze wanders past you to the pub lights
beyond the tow path and their reflections in the water:

a constellation of dancing rainbow stars
glittering in the velvet blackness.
There isn't much else to look at,
apart from the occasional glimpse of headlights
rising up then descending as they
pass over Potter Heigham bridge.

Soup growing cold. But I try to hang on
to the moment, to stall time, to take in
the enormity of the task ahead of me.
Tiny raindrops begin to spot our faces,
but it barely registers.
We're both light years away,

absorbed in two wildly differing takes on us :
you, never doubting that we belong together;
and me, not having the heart to shatter your illusion.
Slipping off my engagement ring for the first time
while searching deep for the appropriate words
to let you down gently.

But, try as I might, I just can't find any.
So, feebly, I begin by blaming the stars,
"Capricorn and Aries?
We must have been joking, eh?
You, serious and home-loving. Me, outspoken,
restless and easily bored - what were we thinking?"

There is no satisfactory answer to such a question,
only more and more self-delusion.
And the torture in your eyes envelopes me like a sad blanket.
I want the deck to open up and swallow me.
But now I've begun there is no going back -
I must follow it through.

"When we first met, I believed I'd found my Heathcliff -
excitement and danger. Instead, I found myself
trapped in a world of tedious sameness.
There is this space in me that you can never fill
and it constantly aches for something inexpressible,
something only Emily would understand...

And I'm sorry,
so very sorry...



Wishing You All a Truly Magical Christmas and a Happy New Year!

And for those of us of other Faiths...Very Happy Holidays...:))

28 comments:

  1. Oh . . . that's another beautiful piece, written, Ygraine, my friend.

    All I have is this moment I'm in, where this moment is going to take me, I do not know, all I know is where I'm at within each moment is where I'm at.

    I wish you much happiness this holiday and in the year to come, but most of all, I wish you much peace and happiness within each and every moment you're in Ygraine.

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    Replies
    1. Oh you are so kind, Lon...my most heartfelt thanks.

      I wish you all those same things, my Friend...always.
      May your each and every moment be precious...:))

      Delete
  2. A very moving poem, difficult to write I imagine. You managed it bravely and compassionately. My best wishes to you, Ygraine, in this and all seasons.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much, Geo. I really appreciate that.

      Wishing you both a Magical New Year...:))

      Delete
  3. Wonderful poem. The deck is always so solid when you wish it would collapse.

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    Replies
    1. That is so true, Anthony!;)
      This one was inspired by a couple who were on a boat moored up beside ours, a couple of years ago.
      It was obvious that they were having a very difficult discussion...and, well, I'm sure you know how my imagination works by now!lol
      Many thanks...and the Happiest of New Years.:))

      Delete
  4. Wow that's wonderful, I wish you a very happy Christmas my dear Ygraine xo

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    Replies
    1. Oh Sweetie, so good to hear from you!!
      I am still visiting regularly, but am unable to leave a comment.
      Please don't ever think I have forgotten you...

      Wishing you a Happy and successful New Year...may all your dreams come true! :))

      Much Love & Hugs xoxoxo

      Delete
  5. Very, very moving!!! Your words sad, and truthful. So beautifully written!
    Merry Christmas!! Wishing you and your loved ones many blessings!
    Big Hugs!

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    Replies
    1. Oh thank you, Sweetie...so, so, much!

      I hope you had a wonderful Christmas...and that 2017 will be your best year ever!!!:))

      All my Love & Hugs xoxoxo

      Delete
  6. You sure do have a way with words, Ygraine! Wow! Thank you so much for sharing. Merry Christmas to you, dear friend.

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    1. ...and thank you so much for reading, my dear, dear Friend!!:)

      I do hope your Christmas was really special...and that you have a brilliant year to come...

      Lots of Love xoxoxo

      Delete
  7. Feliz ano de 2017 com a concretização de todos os sonhos.
    AG

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    1. Oh thank you, Antonio...and I'd like to wish those same things for you too.
      Have a wonderful year...:)

      A New Year Hug :))

      Delete
  8. Aw, darling. I feel like I want to send my virtual hug.
    Merry Christmas.

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    Replies
    1. Oh that is so kind...and really appreciated!
      Thank you so much.:)

      Wishing you a Happy New Year! xoxoxo

      Delete
  9. Beautiful and pungent. Breaking up is never easy. But life isn't easy.

    Happy 2017. I hope it's a very happy one.

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    Replies
    1. Oh thank you, Ana...so much!

      I hope you have a truly amazing New Year too...may 2017 be your best ever...:))

      Delete
  10. Yes, touching, evocative words Ygraine, you do have a gift. Breaking up and moving on is sometimes necessary but oh so painful at the time too. You've captured the moments well.

    I wish you the best year ever, in every way, in 2017. Many hugs to you and all the good things, G

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    Replies
    1. Gosh, those are wise words, Geraldine. So True.
      Although I was writing from someone else's viewpoint, it wasn't by any means easy to write.
      Oh I'd hate to be in that position personally...:/
      Thank you so much.:)

      Here's hoping 2017 will be a fabulous year for you too...and sending lots of Love & Hugs xoxoxo

      Delete
  11. Feliz ano de 2017 com a concretização de todos os sonhos,
    AG

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  12. Replies
    1. Wishing you a Wonderful New Year too, Giancarlo...and all the very best of everything! :))

      Delete
  13. Wonderful Ygraine !!
    Happy new year dear Ygraine !!
    Hugs and love !

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh thank you, my dear Friend...so, so much.:)

      Wishing you a Happy New Year too...may all your dreams come true!!

      Lots of Love & Hugs xoxoxo

      Delete
  14. you captivate heart with your grave words dear!
    wishing you a very Happy new year .

    ReplyDelete
  15. Oh thank you...you really are so kind.:))

    And here's wishing you the most amazing New Year too...xoxoxo

    ReplyDelete

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I really appreciate hearing your opinions...:)