Friday 7 May 2021


A complicated mind
shaped my destiny.
That same mind fed me
the many untruths
that bred my myriad phobias.
Why did I never question them?

When I ventured out into the world
I saw only reflections
of another's paranoia.
Society was a forbidding concept
filled with dangerous pitfalls, so I feared
every shadow, mistrusted every stranger's smile.

Later, within my poetry,
that mind's unfulfilled dreams found expression
in a kind of mournful angst. It also
laced my relationships with a deadly poison:
"Men are the enemy. Never trust them!"
Self fulfilling prophesy. Inward struggle.
Who am I really?

Now, sometimes I question
if it ever was that other mind at all,
but was actually mine all along.
Other times, I wonder if it could be
a genetic anomaly in my psyche
that so warps intuition and fuels
my quest for the inexplicable, the
impossible ideal that other mind
spent a lifetime seeking
yet never ever found.
Have I, indeed, become my mother?

Is it possible that these thoughts
running through my head - these, now,
originated in another mind
that is continuing to influence me
from beyond the grave?

Or is it simply that I am cursed
with the kind of mind that thinks too much? 😉


  1. Thorough reflection. Who am I?
    Have a nice weekend! Hugs xxx

    1. Many thanks 😊😊

      Wishing you a great weekend too!

      Hugs xxx

  2. Aaaargh. Those first lessons are so very hard to shift. And can be dangerous. Keep thinking dear Ygraine, and questioning...
    Much love.

    1. They certainly are, dearest Sue! I have struggled to overcome the sense of being unwanted all my life...and still haven't succeeded!🙄 I think a mother's influence is the most powerful and lasting of all!
      Definitely...onward and upward, as my late father used to say!😉
      Many thanks, my dear friend.😊😊

      Have a great weekend!

      Much love and hugs ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

  3. There are times I have to empty my mind in order to see what's truly going on.

    1. That is something I find far from easy, my friend.
      I have one of those minds that absolutely refuses to be still. Any advice would be most welcome...😊😊

      Have a great weekend!

  4. Replies
    1. Thank you😊😊
      Sending Big Hugs from England xxx

  5. Our mind sometimes does seem to work too much!
    It is important to sit quietly and take a few moments to collect our thoughts before continuing ...

    Wishing you a good weekend ahead.

    All the best Jan

    1. Indeed, Jan!
      I find I tie myself up in knots just trying to unravel exactly what it is I'm thinking!! Thank goodness for my blog...sometimes it is my lifeline!😉
      Many thanks.😊😊

      Wishing you a fabulous weekend too!

      Hugs xxx

  6. My sweet Ygraine,
    All paths in the contemporary world are always leading us to become prisoners of restless minds. These people who always lied, cheated, hurt so many people, today use the excuse of the pandemic to justify their strange mistakes, their blatant lack of decor.
    We need to learn how to get rid of those shackles that are these corrosive people, who feed the coexistence with their untruths. The internal struggle makes us grow and overcome our fears and phobias. Always be like you always were, because nothing and nobody can look down on the good and beautiful person that you are.
    Many kisses and good weekend!!!

    1. My dear friend Doug, you always, always make me feel better with your kindness and understanding. And, indeed your wisdom! Today is no exception. The internal struggle I carry within me, as a result of childhood experience, has made me a stronger and more compassionate person (I hope!). Maybe rather too sensitive, but I'd rather be this way than unaware of the feelings and needs of others. There is much love in my heart, it's just that I'm often not sure what to do with it, due to the rejection I experienced in childhood. Being rejected has remained my greatest phobia in life!😝😉
      Thank you so much for your friendship and support, my dear truly means the world to me.😊😊

      Have a great weekend and stay safe.

      Many Kisses xxx

  7. an exquisite ,brilliant poem once again dearest Ygraine !

    so true that lap of a mother is first school for child specially girl who is deeply attached with mother and so naturally ,moms too are human and what life teach them they transmit it simply into their mom did so either and i was captive of her mind for so long but i am thankful that i learnt to seek for learning and that how to apply useful learning on to life ,i am so happy i started to discover my own mind :)
    thank you for such inspiring poem my amazingly talented friend !
    hugs and blessings! prays and love!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    1. Dearest Baili, oh thank much!
      Yes, I agree...our Mothers are probably the greatest influence in our early lives. I was a menopause baby, so was unplanned and I think that is why she resented my presence in her life. Her rejection has left a deep scar, but on the more positive side, I think it has made me search within myself for answers to life's challenges, rather than being too dependent upon others.
      Have a great weekend, dear friend...and stay safe😊😊

      Lots of love and hugs ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

  8. The curse of a thinker. Wonder if we wouldn’t be happier if less connected to our thought?

    1. I'm certain we would, Anthony! I do sometimes try to literally think of nothing. And what happens? Only more unwanted thoughts and impressions flood into my mind!! 😂
      So happy you enjoyed...and many, many thanks!😊😊

  9. How beautiful and how deep...
    I share with you the doom of a complicated mind and sometimes I wish I could be simple-minded. Life would be easier.

    1. One of my greater wishes too, Ana.😉
      Thinking too much appears to be a family trait of mine too!🙄 Lol
      Thank you so much.😊😊

      Hugs xxx

  10. Usually I think so much I know especially in these times, and some days is easy and others not, sometimes I feel sad too, anyway is the life, you really make beautiful poetry dear Ygraine, send you love and hugs and thanks for all yours poems!

    1. Indeed these are difficult times for us, dearest Gloria...and times that can so easily make us feel somewhat melancholic!🙁
      Still, there is always beauty to be found in life if we look for it (hopefully!).
      Thank you so much, my dear friend...I so appreciate your kind words of encouragement!😊😊

      Sending you lots and lots of love and hugs back ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

  11. I love those last sentences, so well written!

    1. Oh thank you, much!😊😊

      Hugs xxx

  12. Love! We are all a mystery to ourselves, I think.

    1. Indeed we seem to be, Amalia!😉
      So happy you enjoyed...and thank you so much.😊😊

      Hugs xxx

  13. Thank you so, so much, friend are really kind...and my deepest appreciation!😊😊

    Wishing you a great week!

  14. sometimes i do the same dear...

    too much thinking everything and my head full of many question that i dont know how their answer...

    what a lyfe..


    1. So glad I'm not alone in thinking too much, dear friend!
      Indeed it isn't an easy life!😉
      Thank you so much...😊😊
      Have a lovely weekend!

      Hugs xxx

  15. The Poet is also a questioner. He often calls into question the guiding principles of society, since many of these principles are suspect ...
    And the Poet always thinks much more than other people. That is why it is natural for you to be distressed at times. But it passes ...
    Excellent poem. Congratulations on your talent.
    Be happy, my dear friend Igraine.
    Kisses xxx

  16. Oh thank you so, so much for this wonderful comment, dear have no idea how much you have helped me to understand why I sometimes a but overwhelmed by my depth of feeling!
    I do think too much for my own good sometimes, and so do have the tendency to become overly affected by other people's emotions.
    I am so happy you enjoyed...and thank you again.😊😊

    Wishing you much happiness too, dear friend.

    Kisses xxx

  17. Our minds can drive us crazy sometimes! LOL! Sit, listen and maybe meditate? And, always take deep breaths! Thank you for your wonderful writing! Big Hugs!

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