Saturday 20 August 2011


A memory of being nineteen

You told me you loved me once,
in the very beginning
and I believed you
and was happy.

But then you said
I wasn't beautiful enough.
You weren't keen on my hair
because it wasn't black,
and my green eyes
were too pale for your taste.

So I dyed my hair
and used brown contact lenses,
and hoped you would
love me again.

But you said
that at four-feet-ten
I wasn't tall enough.
I couldn't do much
about that, except
teeter around on six-inch heels.

Then you said
my conversation was boring.
So I tried to think up
witty things to say.
But all that did
was annoy you.

You said
I wasn't sexy enough
in the bedroom.
So I bought lacy undies,
black stockings and suspenders.
But you said
I looked ridiculous
and I believed you,
so accepted all my faults.

Then I asked
why you stayed with me
if you found me
so repugnant,
and you replied that I
relieved your boredom
until someone better
came along.

Yet, still I stayed
because I loved you
and hoped you would change.
But you never did.

And when I finally had the courage
to tear myself away,
you said
I was weak and pathetic
and would never survive
without you.

Yet here I am today......


  1. Way to stand. Maybe you can now toss the memory.

  2. They never change these rogues - It is a very insecure man that tends to be such a control freak. It takes a long time to get your cinfidence back after such a destructive relationship. Bravo.
    Good write.

  3. You're absolutely right, Gnome. I do feel much lighter after ditching this one! Yes!!!

  4. Thank you, Rose. After all this time I was finally ready to clear the fall-out. Felt good :-)

  5. If we could just tell our younger selves that we will be strong, independent and beautiful someday; but our younger selves would never believe us would they? Tears the heart.

  6. Thanks for your wonderful insight Daniel. I'm sure we would act very differently if we could relive our teenage years. Such a pity that wisdom only comes with the experience of many decades behind us!


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