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Friday, 13 September 2019

INSIDE MY HEAD

You're here again,
inside my head when I'm trying to sleep.
You're here again,
smashing my confidence on a level deep.
Harsh words echoing around my brain
'til I feel like stepping in front of a train.

You're here again,
tearing me apart layer by layer.
You're here again,
as always the central player.
Bruising, belittling, crushing self-esteem
because I failed to live up to your dream.

You're here again,
shouting, criticising, putting me down.
You're here again,
ensuring that in tears I finally drown.
Oh why am I here if I'm worth so little?
You are so cruel and my ego so brittle.

You're here again,
reminding me of how flawed I am.
You're here again,
insinuating what a failure I am.
You insult and wound with every word
and yet keep me caged like a helpless bird.

You're here again,
only this time I'm finally closing my ears.
You're here again,
but you've no longer power over all my fears.
Oh I'm sorry, Inner Voice, that I've cramped your style,
but now let me be me, without being on trial.


Written on World Suicide Prevention Day...with deepest compassion.

48 comments:

  1. Ygraine, my good friend, I can relate to a lot that has been written in this post of yours! There have multiple times in my life that I've heard such a voice trying to rip me apart with worry, fears, and even telling me I'm absolutely good for nothing, plus bringing up the wrongs I've done in my past and still do today! Now when these voices enter in, I've created a counterattack against them, I tell myself, DON'T THINK, and my mind becomes blank to such obstacles! This DON'T THINK, has helped me immensely!

    I wish you much peace and happiness my good friend within every moment you're in!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh Lon, my Friend, I am so sorry that you've been there too.🙁
      It is happening to so many people, that I can't help asking the question, "why?" It is so sad.
      Your saying "DON'T THINK" is a fantastic remedy, because it is a taking back of your personal power.
      I only wish I were mentally strong enough to do that too...but you have inspired me to give it my best shot!
      Thank you so much...😊😊

      Delete
  2. Goodness! Yes! 'World Suicide Day Prevention Day'.

    https://www.nspa.org.uk/home/our-work/world-suicide-prevention-day-2019/

    I will send this on to my daughter, she has been
    a fully qualified Psychiatrist, for the past 8yrs,
    and 5yrs ago, set her up in her own clinic...She
    currently has 43 clients, 11 of which are young students.
    So the issue of suicide, covers a wide range of ages,
    reported daily in the written media, and the visual
    media, very young people as well as the elderly are
    committing this sad act...!

    Just yesterday..it was reported that a 11yrs old girl,
    being bullied on line, because she was fat, hung herself
    in her bedroom...! :o(.

    "Period" "Nuff Said"....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gosh, yes, all these people who are suffering such emotional pain...and many of them so young.🙁
      Your daughter is doing such a worthwhile job...you must be so proud of her. There is clearly a world wide mental health crisis occurring...
      Thank you so much, Willie...for your understanding. It is so appreciated.😊😊

      Have a great day!

      Delete
  3. Very good post 😊 thanks for your sharing 😊

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much...and for your visit!😊😊

      Delete
  4. I follow you on gfc #104, follow back? :)

    https://styleoflifet.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  5. Ygraine,
    I'm here again too ...
    But not in your head when you try to sleep ...
    I'm here in your head, with you wide awake, to tell you how much I appreciate the way you write beautiful poems!
    Good weekend!
    Kisses !!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh WOW...that is SO appreciated...thank you so much!😊😊
      Wishing you a fabulous weekend too!

      Kisses!!

      Delete
  6. Wow,another beautiful poem full of compassion! What an important day abd subject it js for us to remember to always be there for those saddest ones. You are so talented! ☺

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aww...you are so kind, Natalia...thank you so much!😊😊

      Delete
  7. Have just returned from your blog...really enjoyed!😊😊

    Am following you now...

    ReplyDelete
  8. That inner-voice can be friend or foe.
    it can encourage one or it can destroy one.
    Here is where the heart and the soul must be strong.
    To have the determination and the will to face one's fears and fight back and live...

    You are so amazing my beautiful friend...you are so talented, so filled with emotions~

    Big Hugs and Much Love
    xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dearest Jan...such wise words...yes, the choice is ultimately up to us how we interpret our experiences, isn't it?
      Thank you, so, so much!😊😊

      Have a fabulous weekend, my wonderful Friend!!

      Much love and hugs ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

      Delete
  9. Replies
    1. Aww...thank you so much!😊😊

      Wishing you a super weekend!

      Delete
  10. Al yours poema are amazing and touch me Yfeaine! hugs !!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Many thanks, dear Gloria...you are so kind!😊😊

      Much love and hugs ❤❤❤❤❤❤

      Delete
  11. Dear, dear Ygraine. Thank you. Those voices (such loud insistent voices) live in my head too. And have done for as long as I can remember. I do hope you have stifled yours (and can share the secret). Huge hugs.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh thank you, my dear friend...for your understanding...and for your precious friendship. Both truly mean the world to me.
      How I wish I could stifle them...can only manage to do so for short periods...then the wretched things overpower me again!
      Like you, mine seem to have been there forever...even at five years old, I remember being overwhelmed by them, so I guess there's not much hope of banishing them forever.😕
      Hopefully, though, we can both eventually find a way to ignore their negative messages...well, that is my hope for the future...

      Sending you much love and comforting hugs ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

      Delete
  12. Wow! This poem is a revelation, Ygraine!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh you are so kind!
      Thank you, Ana...so much!!😊😊

      Delete
  13. I can certainly relate to those inner voices. You're too fat, you are not pretty anymore. ETC. Thanks for sharing another awesome poem.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Mary...it seems we aren't as alone as we sometimes feel with this. Just be the "human condition" or something similar, I guess...we think too much!
      Thank you so much...xxx

      Delete
  14. My sincere compliments on your excellent, life-affirming poem.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Geo...my sincerest appreciation!😊😊

      Delete
  15. "because I failed to live up to your dream."

    This poem is a magnificent way for all of us to win the silence.
    Through your feelings I can feel a harmony deep in the "sea of my thoughts".
    With your permision I call you " Wave of feelings".
    And thank you very much for your comment.
    Warmest greetings from Volos.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh WOW...thank you...so, so much!
      I really appreciate your encouraging words...😊😊

      Have a fabulous weekend!

      Delete
  16. Oh dear Ygraine thank you so much for mentioning bellow
    this was scary to read such painful circumstances
    for while it seemed it is me from past when i felt caged but than Lord was their to release me

    you can be a GREAT psychiatrist as you feel other's pain so deeply and present such an impressive and extraordinarily way !

    this is powerfully compacted poem my friend!
    i am still in trauma of withered brain !

    last line ends it with hope and strength of positivity :)
    lots of love and blessings to you my talented ygraine ! hugs!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dearest Baili...oh you are so kind, and so precious a friend. And I can't bear to think of you suffering too.
      But perhaps we were meant to suffer these things...and to learn to rise above them...and you have been a real inspiration to me!
      Oh thank you so very much!!😊😊

      Lots of love and hugs ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

      Delete
  17. es realmente excelente, me ha encantado

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh thank you so much!😊😊

      Have a fabulous day xxx

      Delete
  18. Wonderful poem and message.. An experience no one should endure.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Anthony...so much.😊😊
      I totally agree. If only no one had to suffer like this...

      Delete
  19. Great post!
    I love your blog so much!
    Following you from now :)
    I will be very happy if you follow me back :)
    Have a nice day!

    My blog - https://valerianestt.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh WOW...thank you so much!😊😊
      Will come and visit you in a few minutes...xxx

      Delete
  20. What a great poem with an excellent message.

    All the best Jan

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Many thanks, Jan...I really appreciate that!😊😊

      Have a super day xxx

      Delete
  21. the inner voice can be a terrorist - love this - you've expressed it well.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A terrorist indeed, Sandy!
      In a split second, it can destroy a life.
      Oh thank you so much...your kind words mean so much.😊😊

      Hugs xxx

      Delete
  22. Replies
    1. Aww, thank you, Rue...so much!😊😊

      Delete
  23. Estupendo post!
    Feliz día! ♡♡♡

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh wow, thank you...I so appreciate that!😊😊

      Big Hugs ❤❤❤

      Delete
  24. Yes! You are a beautiful soul! Never forget that! Big Hugs!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh Sweetie, you are so kind...my most heartfelt thanks!!
      Sending lots of love and hugs back ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

      Delete
  25. son palabras y textos muy profundos, sigue asi

    ReplyDelete

Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment on my posts.
I really appreciate hearing your opinions...:)