Thursday 14 August 2014


I ceased wearing white long ago.
But that day in Oulu, your birthday,
I wished I'd kept my wedding dress.
It would have blended perfectly into the snow,
unlike my deep red hat and coat.

Then, unobserved, I could have openly watched
you and she: your shared passion, such intimacy
as we never had - not even in the beginning.
With us, something fundamental was missing.
We were lopsided, awkward, a three-legged polar bear.

You embraced her there on the railway platform,
but all I could see were tatters
of precious satin slashed, bleeding white,
spanning the tracks to where my heart also bled profusely
into the snow behind the station house.

As the two of you boarded the train and I watched it leave,
your final words resurfaced to haunt me: "I'm sorry."
The ice cut deeper than it did back then,
when I considered black lace a cure-all.
Oh that last tumble in a metre of snow...

Then before I knew it, you were gone.
Not even those letters I found made sense.
I was in denial - it was all a bad joke.
"You are my husband," I screamed into the void you left behind.
But my words were swallowed by the endless white.

I will be around until Saturday, then I will be away for a week or so in a place without electricity.
I will miss you all...:(
So until my return...have a fabulous week xxx


  1. oy what a heart rending see the one we loved...the one we were promised too with another...and them be happy....twists the gut for hard to understand at times...the relationships that blow in the wind...

    hope you have a great time on your is nice to be disconnected at times....

  2. Thank you so much, hope I'm not writing too many mournful posts lately though...must be all these Super Moons!! *smiles*

    Am crossing my fingers these storms we've been having will dissipate before I leave...I will be sleeping under canvas! :/

    Have a great week :)

  3. This is wonderful. I totally enjoyed the story, the drama. A am sad too, a little for what obviously had to have been experienced first hand to have produced this wonderful poetry.

    1. Oh thank you, Anthony...for your kind words...your understanding...I appreciate it so much.
      Yes, an old wound that still bleeds now and again...

  4. Dear Ygraine
    This is truly heartbreaking but only you could have written it, you are so gifted ..

    Have a wonderful time away ... are you going camping ?
    Take me along, please ... LOL

    Be safe ...

    1. Oh are so kind!
      Thank you, Sweetie.

      Yes, I am going camping - for the first time in years...really wish I could take you along...we could write poetry by the light of the camp fire! LOL

      Big Hugs and Have a Great Week xxx

    2. Hope you are having a fantastic time and forgetting about the world and its troubles ... Guess what?
      Hubby is taking me camping this weekend ... you inspired me to go ...yay !
      And we shall 'be roughing it' LOL


    3. Wow...what a co-incidence!
      Really hope you had a great time...and much better weather than we had! *smiles*

  5. oh Ygraine this is wonderful so poignant and heartbreaking...I hope you have a lovely time, rest and go nuts and come back totally refreshed oh and i have a new blog, no choice all my photos are now on Google so it is:

    1. Thank you so much, Sweetie!
      Yes, I will have a nice break (I hope!), so long as I don't get washed out by these wretched storms!! I will be nice to be out there in the middle of a field in rural Cornwall. Really wish you could come too...:)

      I will come and visit your blog shortly...

      Big hugs xxx

  6. Corrnwall? oh my gosh how i would love to be there, we'd have such fun\
    Big hugs xxx and have a wonderful time, \i've dreamed of these places because of the author Rosamunde Pilcher, if you can oh please take photos Have a wonderful, wonderul time sweetie xxx

    1. Thank you with all my heart, dear friend!
      Yes...would have been absolutely wonderful to have had your company there.
      It was great...apart from the rather damp and cold weather - made me wish I'd taken my winter duvet! Still, had a magical time...:)

      Big Hugs xxx

  7. Realmente me emocione y disfrute de la historia de tu texto, saludos.

    1. Thank you, much!
      Do hope you are having a fabulous week :)

  8. have a wonderful time Ygraine, you deserve it, I miss you already

    1. Thank you, Sweetie.
      I missed you too...:(

  9. Any of us who have had our hearts broken and our lives torn at the seams can feel the agony and despair that you have written here, Ygraine.
    So heart-wrenching with a sad beauty in each line~

    Have a nice time wherever you may be :))

    Hugs and Blessings

    1. Thank you so much, Jan.
      Isn't it strange how we all seem to experience similar emotions when these type of things happen in our lives...makes me feel much less "alone" in my past!

      Really hope everything is going OK for you.
      You are always in my thoughts xxx

    2. Have just come from your blog. Couldn't leave a message for some reason.
      I just wanted to say I am sending Love and Light to your sister, and wishes for her speedy recovery.
      I am with you every step of the way xxx

  10. You are making me feel the pain that has eaten you up. We share your pain. Loved your expressive writing always. So sorry that I could not comment your post for a long time. Hope you are fine. God bless you.

    1. Thank you, Dumcho...from my heart.
      I know I have stated this before, but knowing that you understand really does help me feel less alone in these painful memories...and that means so much to me.

      Please don't worry about not commenting for a while.
      I do understand how busy you are...and you are doing so many good things.

      God bless you too :)

  11. I bet you're having a wonderful time, I deleted my blog, but kept my google address so that I could visit people I care so much about..don't ask me why...they are horrible

    1. Oh I will so miss your beautiful, uplifting blog...
      Such a relief to know that I won't lose you though...and we can still keep in touch.

      Big Hugs xxx


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